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'A gaping silken dragon,/Puffed by the wind, suffices us for God./We, not the City, are the Empire's soul:/A rotten tree lives only in its rind.'

Monday 3 February 2014

Balls...

There are a number of problems that are associated with the common necessity of using one's dining table for kit bashing. Firstly, there is the lack of space to eat. Secondly, there may be problems associated with one's better half (this, I am happy to say, is not a problem I suffer from - Mrs Front is a kindly woman). Thirdly, there is the potential for cross contamination - food into kit, for example; which is why I do not listen to the radio while eating. But, until now I had not had a problem with balls.

 As you will know if you read my last post, I was looking forward to trying out 'Liquid Gravity' as ballast for the Airfix Vampire. I closed up the fuselage yesterday evening, and carefully poured the tiny Liquid Gravity balls into the nose space. Well, I tried to carefully pour the balls. Only they kept jamming the nozzle of the container, and there was a limit to how much I could cut off the nozzle or the cap would no longer fit. So, while trying to free jammed balls from the nozzle, I carefully rested the fuselage while I used both hands to attack the nozzle. The fuselage tipped over, and hundreds of tiny metal balls made a run for it! I gritted my teeth, refilled the fuselage nose then added the super glue to solidify the whole caboodle. Ignoring the gritty metallic sounds under my shoes, I went to bed, leaving everything to cure.

Breakfast - coffee and cereal. But I just couldn't resist picking up the Vampire fuselage. All seemed well. Then I decided that the bang seat handles that I had added from wire really were over scale. I picked off one handle with tweezers, then knocked the other one off, but into the well of the cockpit. Shaking the thing to free the red and yellow bit of wire seemed to make no difference - I could still see, but not get at, the damn thing. Then I noticed balls. Tiny little balls. Escaping, despite the super glue. I put the assembly back on the model mat and returned to my breakfast, cursing. By the time I got to the bottom of my cereal, I had begun to wonder why the damn stuff seemed crispier than usual. Then my spoon began to scrape on the bottom of the bowl. Balls, tiny metal balls...

15 comments:

  1. No way!! hahaa, so funny Mr Front. At least, being metal, they sank to the bottom of the bowl. I can imagine the look on one's face though! haha.. great story!

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    1. Yup! What a way to start the working day!

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  2. The gods must be angry with you Stephen, Appease them with some rash kit purchases!

    Nice story.

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    1. Ah, a sensible idea! That must be the problem - I will spend money at once!!

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  3. All that was missing was a loved pet helping clear up !

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    1. I can imagine that - trying to push a dog away from something it really, really wants to snaffle - usually something foul!

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  4. So balls was used in your title as an expletive as well as a description of the problem.
    Mrs. Front does indeed sound like a kind and patient woman. You seem luckier in marriage than you are in modelling.

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    1. I have been blessed in that department of life. Mind you, I do have a few kits and figures that go back further than my marriage...

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  5. Vampire ejection seat firing handles. Shouldn't they be black and yellow?

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    1. Now that is the sort of first-hand information that is important. Were all the firing handles in black or yellow, or just the Vampires? Were there any Vampires still kicking about when you were putting rockets under the bottoms of officers?

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    2. The Kiwi ones were black and yellow for sure as there are still a couple kicking around and I can remember seeing one at RNZAF Wigram with them.

      RAF picture on this link:

      http://www.britmodeller.com/forums/index.php?/topic/234935331-another-vampire-t11-question/page-2

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    3. Cheers, Paul. It is very tempting to buy a sack of Vampires simply to paint them up as NZ, Australian, Rhodesian, SA, French, Swiss, Jordanian, Lebanese...... But I doubt I'll live long enough.

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  6. In my own experience all seat firing handles were black and yellow. Both seat pan and face screen. The oldest in service jets I ever messed about on were Lightnings. However part of our training, removal and fitting of seats, was on Sea-Vixens. And they definitely all had B&Y handles.

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    1. Now, you see, this is just the sort of first-hand info that is worth its weight in biscuits. It has also been a reminder that even the stuff in highly regarded aviation modelling magazines needs to be taken carefully. In the end, I was having so much bl**dy trouble getting the things in scale that I finally opted to leave them off.

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    2. What kind of biscuits? It's important.

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